You know those awful, terrible, sucker-punch moments in life? The ones that knock you down, burn you up, or make you cringe so hard you wish it was all a bad dream?
We all have these moments. They’re a part of life, and can be turned into beautiful opportunities for change…if we let them.
Dr. Neeta Bhushan, best-selling author, international educator, and expert on resilience and grit, has helped thousands elevate their lives through her signature G.R.I.T. process. Anyone can overcome their setbacks with grace, and emerge nearly unscathed every time.
From Dentist to Thought Leader
“What we do with our sucky experiences in life makes all the difference,” says Dr. Bhushan. “We can use coping mechanisms like alcohol, working out, working too much, and overeating,” but none of these dissociative crutches will bring resolution OR growth to a crisis situation.
*Dr. Bhushan looked in the mirror (literally) 11 years ago and realized she needed to redirect the pathway she was stuck in.
*Even though she had a 7-figure dental practice, she realized career and accolades did not compensate for emotional and spiritual drought.
Flying Forward
In her new book, That Sucked. Now What?: How to Embrace the Joy in Chaos and Find Magic in the Mess, Dr. Bhushan describes five stages of rising from the ashes, or Flying Forward as she calls it.
*Stage 1: Falling
By experiencing traumatic life-events that “rock our worlds,” the unavoidable struggle that follows can lead us to coping mechanisms that help us to grow and become stronger.
“I lost my mom and dad and one of my brothers by the time I was 19, and had to take care of my little brother,” recalls Neeta. “So lots of pressure there when I was very young.”
Later on, Neeta found herself in an abusive relationship, and needing a career change. The dental business wasn’t nearly as fulfilling as she hoped it would be, and money doesn’t fill in the void.
*Stage 2: Igniting
Hitting rock bottom and finding that moment when change no longer is an option, but a necessity, magically transforms us into agents of action. Neeta decided to end her abusive relationship, sell her dental practice, and start a journey of purpose that was all at once terrifying and exciting.
*Stage 3: Rising
In a quest for her true self, or Dharma, Neeta began to realize that her passion lay in bringing people together, sharing her wisdom and her profound life experiences for the benefit of others. (14:45)
This process necessarily included “leaning into the suck,” which is hardly ever easy.
Watch the interview here:
As her emotional and spiritual journey progressed full-force, Neeta found herself learning stand-up comedy (ultimate vulnerability and zero comfort zone here), putting book clubs together for women in her area, organizing “Pitch Fests” to teach marketing skills to entrepreneurs, becoming an Angel Investor for non-profits, and starting other business ventures. She used her life’s casualties and her triumphs to better the lives of others while she continued to look for her calling.
*Stage 4: Magnifying
Using her gifts for organization and public speaking, Dr. Bhutan found her niche in non-profit coaching and mentoring. After training one of her assistant dentists in the art of running a successful practice, she felt at liberty to leave her patients in his capable hands, and began a totally new career in consulting.
“I began helping people with their own emotional intelligence after having incredible experiences working with leaders at Stanford University,” says Neeta. After 20 years of acquired emotional grit and resilience following her own crucibles, she became a natural catalyst for changing the lives of women through the business world.
Which has led her to where she is today…
*Stage 5: Thriving
Neeta was the pioneer and creator of The Bounce Factor, or the measure of resilience and innate ability we have to rebound from our life’s traumatic experiences…large or small. After living in what felt like constant chaos for 2 decades of her life, both her emotional and physical health floundered. Neeta’s journey to recovery and thriving are a major part of her desire to help others.
“We’ve had over 1,000 people come through our Dharma Coaching Institute, helping people find their true purpose in life.” Recognizing that we are on the right road even though we lack perfection, is a transformation that we all need on a foundational level.
Physical Connects to Emotional
Neeta admits that when she was involved in a dysfunctional relationship with her former spouse, she had major gut issues, which she believes were connected. As time went on, she found herself in an obsessive routine of running and super-strict eating regiments, which she now recognizes were unhealthy, both physically and emotionally. (24:00)
“It wasn’t until I started seeing emotional health coaches that I realized I was in fight or flight mode…that my nervous system was in a constant state of anxiety for at least a decade through my 20’s.”
*Neeta discovered new techniques: Reiki, meditation, yoga, and emotional therapies to negotiate her anxiety and grief.
*Processing emotions one at a time through journaling and other valuable techniques can have profound healing consequences.
“Many people weren’t able to express emotions as they grew up, so it’s important to learn about our Bounce Factor test…to see how you handle your emotions.”
Yes…Life can really suck sometimes. Now What?
